i thought i lost the stars, but i never really had them

it was 3 a.m., and i lay on my back, staring at a sky so black it felt as though the universe had swallowed every trace of light. i’d been awake for hours, chasing sleep like it was something i could wrestle down if i just tried hard enough. instead, all i found was an ever-deepening silence. somewhere between the hours of 2 and 3, i convinced myself th…