inspired by the fear of being average

i don't want to be left behind. i want to achieve great things.

for as long as i can remember, i’ve grappled with a deep-seated fear of being average. it’s not just a fleeting thought but a persistent whisper that nudges at me whenever i feel like i’m not doing enough. this fear seems to be a constant companion, especially in a world that relentlessly celebrates exceptional achievements. from the moment i was old enough to understand success and failure, the idea of being just average felt like a daunting specter hanging over me.

growing up, i was surrounded by messages that greatness was the only path to validation. in school, the emphasis was always on being the best—whether it was in academics, sports, or extracurricular activities. i recall the endless pressure to excel, to stand out from my peers. the praise that came with high grades or athletic victories was often accompanied by the unspoken implication that anything less than exceptional was a disappointment. this early conditioning created a belief that being average wasn’t just a temporary state; it was a failure to live up to potential.

as i moved through different stages of life, this fear evolved but never diminished. in college, i found myself surrounded by highly ambitious peers. the pressure to outperform them became even more intense. each conversation felt like a reminder that i needed to do more, to be more. the line separating the fear of being average and the fear of being left behind blurred and ultimately vanished into thin air.

social media didn’t help. platforms like instagram and linkedin are filled with curated snapshots of success. it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of comparison, scrolling through feeds filled with images of perfectly crafted lives. every post seemed to scream, “look at how amazing everyone else is!” this constant exposure to other people’s successes created a heightened sense of pressure. i found myself setting increasingly lofty goals, driven by a need to prove my worth and avoid being perceived as average. it was borderline suffocating and there was no respite.

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the drive to be exceptional often felt like a double-edged sword. on one hand, it pushed me to achieve things i might not have otherwise pursued. it fueled a relentless work ethic and a determination to excel in my field. but on the other hand, it led to a constant state of stress and dissatisfaction. no matter what i accomplished, it never seemed to be enough. there was always a new milestone to reach, a higher standard to meet. this pursuit of perfection left me feeling perpetually on edge, as though i was running a race with no finish line. it sometimes felt like all the things i have achieved aren’t worth being celebrated because whatever i’m doing is what is expected of me.

one of the most challenging aspects of this fear was how it impacted my mental health. the anxiety of trying to be exceptional all the time took a toll. i found myself caught in a cycle of overwork and burnout. the pressure to perform created a sense of never-ending stress, where the bar was constantly being raised. it was difficult to enjoy achievements when they were quickly overshadowed by the next goal. i realized that the pursuit of being extraordinary was affecting my well-being, leaving me feeling exhausted and emotionally drained.

relationships were another area impacted by this fear. when i was so focused on achieving more, i often neglected the people around me. i was so consumed by my goals and the fear of mediocrity that i lost sight of the importance of connecting with others. friends and family would often comment on how distant i seemed, and i’d brush it off, thinking that they didn’t understand the pressure i was under. but deep down, i knew that this relentless drive was creating a wedge between me and those who mattered most.

since the past 1 year, i’ve started to question this fear and its impact on my life. i began to realize that my obsession with being exceptional was preventing me from appreciating the present moment. instead of enjoying the journey, i was constantly focused on the destination. this shift in perspective was eye-opening. i began to see that being average wasn’t something to be feared or avoided—it was a natural part of the human experience.

reevaluating what success meant to me became a crucial step in overcoming this fear. i started to think about success not as a measure of being better than others, but as personal growth and fulfillment. it’s easy to get caught up in comparing oneself to others, but i began to focus more on my own progress and achievements. celebrating small victories and finding joy in my journey became more important than the constant pursuit of greatness.

self-acceptance has been a key part of this process. i’ve learned to recognize my strengths and weaknesses without judgment. it’s been liberating to accept that being average sometimes is okay. i’m learning to value my own achievements, no matter how modest they might seem compared to others. this acceptance has helped me find a sense of peace and contentment, reducing the anxiety that once accompanied my quest for excellence.

part of this journey has involved challenging the narrow definitions of success that we often see in media and culture. it’s important to recognize that achievement comes in many forms, and it’s not always about being the best. by expanding my view of what success looks like, i’ve been able to appreciate a broader range of accomplishments and experiences. this shift in perspective has helped me feel less pressured to constantly outperform others and more focused on what truly matters to me.

education and mentorship have also played a significant role in this shift. having mentors who offer guidance and support has been invaluable. they’ve helped me set realistic goals and provided tools for managing stress and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. learning about emotional intelligence and self-compassion has been instrumental in developing a healthier perspective on success and achievement.

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one of the most important lessons i’ve learned is that the fear of being average doesn’t have to define me. by redefining success and focusing on personal growth, i’ve found a balance that allows me to pursue my passions without the constant pressure to measure up. it’s about enjoying the journey, celebrating my progress, and finding fulfillment in my own way.

in the end, the fear of being average is something that many people experience, but it doesn’t have to control our lives. by embracing self-acceptance, challenging societal definitions of success, and focusing on personal growth, we can transform our relationship with achievement. it’s about finding contentment in who we are and what we’ve accomplished, rather than constantly striving to be extraordinary. this shift in perspective has allowed me to enjoy the journey of life more fully and to appreciate the value of being true to myself.

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until my new post next week, feel free to check out some of my other posts! :)