it's okay to live a life others won't understand

i can’t count the number of times i’ve had to defend my choices. “wait, why would you do that?” people ask, their brows furrowing in confusion. sometimes it’s subtle, like a lingering silence after i share something personal, and other times it’s more direct—straight up questioning whether i know what i’m doing with my life. there was a time when those moments would throw me off, make me feel like i needed to justify myself, or worse, doubt my own decisions. but here’s the thing: i’ve come to realize it’s perfectly okay to live a life others won’t understand. in fact, i think it might be necessary.

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we live in a world that thrives on understanding and categorizing everything. there’s this societal pressure to fit into neat little boxes: career, relationships, lifestyle. it’s almost like there’s an unspoken rulebook of how we’re supposed to navigate life—go to school, get a stable job, find a partner, settle down, and somehow make sure all of those things align with other people’s expectations. but what happens when your life doesn’t follow that trajectory? when your path looks like a series of unpredictable turns rather than a straight line?

for a long time, i was afraid of being misunderstood. i wanted validation—who doesn’t? i wanted my choices to make sense to the people around me because i thought that’s how you know you’re on the right track. but life has a funny way of teaching you that the "right track" is a myth. the reality is, everyone’s journey looks different, and no one is obligated to understand yours.

it took time, but eventually, i stopped trying to explain myself. i stopped feeling the need to wrap my decision in a pretty bow that others would approve of. and guess what? the world didn’t end. i didn’t spontaneously combust just because my life didn’t fit into someone else’s understanding.

living a life others don’t understand can feel isolating, but it can also be incredibly freeing. once you let go of the need for approval, you realize how much energy you were wasting on trying to explain your every move. there’s a certain peace in knowing that your choices are yours alone and don’t require a round of applause or a stamp of validation from everyone you meet.

i’ve seen this in so many aspects of my life, especially when it comes to personal passions. for instance, i’ve always been drawn to creative pursuits—writing, art, things that don’t necessarily pay the bills but feed the soul. whenever i’d mention spending time on these hobbies, i’d get mixed reactions. people would smile politely and say things like, “that’s nice, but what are you going to do with it?” as if the value of a passion is determined solely by how much money it can make or how much prestige it brings.

for the longest time, i let that question haunt me. i’d justify my creative pursuits by saying things like, “well, i’m working on a side project,” or “it could turn into something later.” but why did i need to defend my joy? why did my love for writing or making art need to have a practical outcome to be valid? it’s okay to do things simply because they make you happy, even if no one else gets it.

that’s when i realized this whole journey is about embracing the fact that not everyone is going to understand. and that’s not just okay—it’s good. if everyone understood every decision you made, it probably means you’re living life according to a set script. you’re following a path so predictable that there’s nothing left to question. but life isn’t meant to be a fill-in-the-blank worksheet. it’s messy, full of contradictions, and often doesn’t make sense to anyone except the person living it.

one of the hardest parts of accepting this truth is the pushback you get from people who care about you. often, the ones who love us most are the ones who struggle the hardest to accept our unconventional choices. they want to protect us, to see us succeed, and in their minds, that often means following a path they understand. but here’s the thing—they’re seeing your life through their own lens, one that’s shaped by their experiences, fears, and desires. that doesn’t mean their concerns aren’t valid, but it also doesn’t mean you have to live according to their vision.

i’ve had countless conversations with well-meaning friends and family members who, in their attempts to be supportive, have unintentionally made me feel like i was doing something wrong. “maybe you should try this instead,” they’d suggest, or “have you thought about doing it this way?” and while advice can be helpful, sometimes it felt like they were subtly trying to steer me back onto a path that made them feel more comfortable. in those moments, i’d nod and smile, but internally i was screaming, “just let me live my life!”

i realized that these conversations were less about convincing them of my choices and more about affirming them for myself. i didn’t need to win anyone over to my side; i just needed to be secure in my own decisions. once i embraced that mindset, the pushback from others started to bother me less. i stopped needing everyone to understand because i understood, and that was enough.

and it’s not just big life decisions—this idea applies to the small, everyday choices, too. maybe you’re the person who prefers quiet nights in over loud parties, or maybe you love spending hours reading obscure books or learning niche skills that don’t seem to “matter” to anyone else. that’s perfectly fine. you don’t need to explain why you prefer solitude, why your interests don’t align with the mainstream, or why you take joy in things that seem trivial to others. the life you live is your own, and it doesn’t need to be relatable to anyone else.

this isn’t to say that you should close yourself off from others or stop seeking connection. it’s important to have people in your life who support and encourage you, even if they don’t fully understand your choices. but those relationships are built on mutual respect, not a need for agreement. true connection doesn’t require a shared worldview; it requires acceptance of each other’s differences. and often, those differences are what make relationships richer and more meaningful.

i’ve learned that the people who matter most are the ones who love you even when they don’t quite “get” you. they might not understand why you made certain choices or what drives you, but they respect your right to live the life that feels right for you. that’s the kind of support that’s worth seeking out—the kind that doesn’t hinge on fitting into a mold or ticking off certain boxes.

at the end of the day, living a life that others won’t understand is an act of courage. it’s standing firm in your choices, knowing that not everyone will get it, but trusting yourself enough to keep going anyway. it’s about embracing the unknown and being okay with the fact that sometimes, your path will be so uniquely yours that no one else will see it coming. but that’s the beauty of it. you’re the only one who can walk it, and you don’t need anyone else’s approval to do so.

so if you’re feeling out of step with the world around you, if you’re making choices that others can’t quite wrap their heads around, know this: it’s okay. it’s more than okay. it’s necessary. your life is your own, and it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else. keep living it unapologetically, and trust that the only understanding you truly need is your own.

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