Every time I have to ask my parents for something—whether it’s a new book, a pair of shoes, or even just permission to go somewhere—I feel an unbearable heaviness settle in my chest.
I feel this deeply, no pun intended! as I wrote “you feel things deeply because you are alive. because you hold an intuitive brilliance that most people never learn to trust in themselves. the truth is, your depth is your power.” also today’s spirituality promises radiance without discomfort, and fails to guide us into our depths, our pain, and our fire. i remind myself that “fire burns only what’s false, to reveal the naked truth beneath the ash.” https://stillroom.cibellelevi.com/p/the-art-of-burning-yourself-alive i know there is healing, born from intimacy with the unknown. enjoy, your comments are very welcome on my posts <3 https://stillroom.cibellelevi.com/p/to-those-who-feel-everything
I was like this before and i avoided asking for anything just because I thought i knew the answer already or being scared of the rejection, but i learned i should ask to make sure because if i don’t ask i will just waste time thinking about the response but if i asked i will get a closure wither it’s approving or rejection at least now i’m sure about the answer and I don’t have to think about it anymore, so i start asking for anything I want and get an answer and not get offended by the response, so i recommend to just go and ask whatever is it and you should know people have the free well to accept your request or reject it so if they did what you asked it’s on them you didn’t force them to do it
abhinav...God bro. the way this resonates with me point to point is uncanny. I am also the eldest of my family. We are three siblings- me, my brother and sister. Me and my brother are closer in age, and growing up- we both felt the weight of asking. As you described, the mathematical equations were always there. And when we started to sense it we stopped asking. Then came along my sister who is 12 years younger than me. My parents are a little more financially stable now I guess. And I see her get everything she wants and she asks without hesitation of course. Sometimes I wish I could do that too. Im trying to unlearn, and start being more grounded in my needs. So yeah, I get it. God I loved this so much🫶
I know you wrote this months ago, but I only stumbled upon it now and resonates with me on another level as a fellow eldest daughter. Thank you for this x
i agree with this. as part of an asian family where practicality goes above all, asking feels heavy. it makes me feel ungrateful, even though im not. asking makes you feel like you confessing a sin.
I feel seen. I’m an only child, and while I grew up having everything I needed, I still feel guilty when it comes to asking my parents for money or even simple things. It always feels like it’s their money, not mine, so I usually stay quiet. The same goes for going out, I often want to, but I don’t ask because I don’t want to burden them with giving me lifts or worrying about me. The longing doesn’t go away, it just sits quietly in the background. And sometimes, it feels less about the money or the outing itself, and more about wishing for that kind of care and closeness.
I think it's an eldest child thing. We feel like we're too much to our parents and we see how many responsibility they have with younger kids so we don't want to add to that ''inconvenience''. So yes we did feel like a burnden, more than once and that bleeds into out adulthood painfully. And unfortunately, i have no idea how to fix it
im crYING
I feel this deeply, no pun intended! as I wrote “you feel things deeply because you are alive. because you hold an intuitive brilliance that most people never learn to trust in themselves. the truth is, your depth is your power.” also today’s spirituality promises radiance without discomfort, and fails to guide us into our depths, our pain, and our fire. i remind myself that “fire burns only what’s false, to reveal the naked truth beneath the ash.” https://stillroom.cibellelevi.com/p/the-art-of-burning-yourself-alive i know there is healing, born from intimacy with the unknown. enjoy, your comments are very welcome on my posts <3 https://stillroom.cibellelevi.com/p/to-those-who-feel-everything
and that’s the result of being independent and growing up fast, i totally understand.
This hit like a bullet, damn 😭💖🙏
I was like this before and i avoided asking for anything just because I thought i knew the answer already or being scared of the rejection, but i learned i should ask to make sure because if i don’t ask i will just waste time thinking about the response but if i asked i will get a closure wither it’s approving or rejection at least now i’m sure about the answer and I don’t have to think about it anymore, so i start asking for anything I want and get an answer and not get offended by the response, so i recommend to just go and ask whatever is it and you should know people have the free well to accept your request or reject it so if they did what you asked it’s on them you didn’t force them to do it
wow :(
Please I felt like someone has just bared open my soul with a scalpel of truth and realisation
abhinav...God bro. the way this resonates with me point to point is uncanny. I am also the eldest of my family. We are three siblings- me, my brother and sister. Me and my brother are closer in age, and growing up- we both felt the weight of asking. As you described, the mathematical equations were always there. And when we started to sense it we stopped asking. Then came along my sister who is 12 years younger than me. My parents are a little more financially stable now I guess. And I see her get everything she wants and she asks without hesitation of course. Sometimes I wish I could do that too. Im trying to unlearn, and start being more grounded in my needs. So yeah, I get it. God I loved this so much🫶
Same mannn I can't even ask money from my father because i feel it will be burden to him.
oh you worded this perfectly, and i’m glad i’m not alone. Thank you for writing this 👩❤️💋👩
I know you wrote this months ago, but I only stumbled upon it now and resonates with me on another level as a fellow eldest daughter. Thank you for this x
i agree with this. as part of an asian family where practicality goes above all, asking feels heavy. it makes me feel ungrateful, even though im not. asking makes you feel like you confessing a sin.
I feel seen. I’m an only child, and while I grew up having everything I needed, I still feel guilty when it comes to asking my parents for money or even simple things. It always feels like it’s their money, not mine, so I usually stay quiet. The same goes for going out, I often want to, but I don’t ask because I don’t want to burden them with giving me lifts or worrying about me. The longing doesn’t go away, it just sits quietly in the background. And sometimes, it feels less about the money or the outing itself, and more about wishing for that kind of care and closeness.
as someone who struggles with this badly, i felt so seen. thanks for putting this feeling into all the right words
Feeling: seen🫂
I think it's an eldest child thing. We feel like we're too much to our parents and we see how many responsibility they have with younger kids so we don't want to add to that ''inconvenience''. So yes we did feel like a burnden, more than once and that bleeds into out adulthood painfully. And unfortunately, i have no idea how to fix it