touch me so i know i'm still here, break me so i know i've changed

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touch me—  
not softly, but enough to leave a mark,  
so i know my skin remembers how to feel.  
these days, i forget  
where i end and the world begins,  
and i need the reminder  
that i am still here, still whole, still moving  
through space like i matter.  

hold me—  
tight, as though you fear  
i’ll disappear without warning,  
because some days, i think i might.  
i’ve grown thin  
in the places where i once held  
myself together.  
i’ve learned how to smile  
without meaning, to laugh  
without the sound reaching my chest.  

so touch me,  
like your hands are the glue  
that binds the pieces i’ve lost  
along the way. let me know  
my bones haven’t turned to dust  
and my heart still knows how to beat.  
i’m not asking for permanence—  
just a reminder  
that i still take up space.  

and break me—  
not gently, but enough  
so i know i’ve changed.  
i need the fracture to show me  
i can heal differently this time,  
grow into something new.  
i’m tired of wearing the same skin,  
tired of being the same name  
spoken in the same way.  

let the cracks run deep,  
because maybe that’s where  
the light will seep in,  
filling the hollow places i’ve carried  
for so long.  
maybe breaking isn’t the end,  
but the beginning of something  
i’ve yet to understand.  

touch me so i know i’m still here,  
break me so i know i’ve changed—  
and in between,  
i’ll learn  
how to be whole again.

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